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hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 12:10:58 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1230
Joined: 11/28/2005
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About two years ago we were given a car by my FIL... we appreciated and used it on a regular basis... mind you we already had a car and weren't really in need of another one.
A family member became in need of a car so we gave the car to him.
After having the car for several months... he sold the car... I was disappointed by that because I felt the car should of been given away to someone who needed it.
The money wasn't "needed" it was used on his fixer-upper jeep that's been parked for a long time... and it's still not road ready. (The relative told us about selling the car for money so he could work on his jeep... he saw my disappointment and the subject was changed quickly.)
did we get hoodwinked?
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 1:27:20 AM
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deermousie
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I don't think so, Jaimestarcross. You were given and gave away something you didn't need and didn't cost you anything, so you suffered no loss. And now you're not paying insurance on it so you're probably ahead of where you were.
The net gain to the guy you gave the car to was he's closer to having a running vehicle, which was your kind intention. Although, to plow the profit of a running car into a non-running vehicle doesn't seem smart to me. His poor judgement and his loss.
Once you give something away, it's no longer yours to make decisions about. But it's hard to see someone mess up a good thing.
In the family I married into, when the older people get a newer car, the old one is given to a younger person in the family. We got my MIL's car, which was very nice of her! It's not an expensive car but it ran... for a few months, and now no one can figure out why it won't run. Two good mechanics and even the dealership have thrown their hands in the air - we're close to junking it. I hope it's not going to hurt MIL's feelings, as she intended to give us an advantage.
I'm sorry your family relative didn't make better use of the nice thing you did for him.
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 1:52:56 AM
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Saltlight_2188
Posts: 1953
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From: the Wiregrass SE Alabama
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When you give a gift, that item becomes the recipient's property to do with as they wish.
If you had loaned it to them, with the expectation that they would give it back (or pass it on to some needy person) when they no longer had need of it, that's one thing.
But if you GAVE it to them, then you no longer have any say as to how they dispose of THEIR property.
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Lisa Lisa
Mercy triumphs over judgment
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 10:55:12 AM
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bolt.
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From: Canada
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It seems like they didn't quite catch the generous spirit of your gift -- and that's disappointing... but it's not something that you have any real business concerning yourself about, and you were not 'hoodwinked'.
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 11:00:48 AM
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Eutychus
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From: Dothan, AL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bolt.
It seems like they didn't quite catch the generous spirit of your gift -- and that's disappointing... but it's not something that you have any real business concerning yourself about, and you were not 'hoodwinked'.
I agree.
Your family member might feel hoodwinked because they didn't think there were any strings attached to the gift but now apparently believe you think there were some.
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Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent." -John 6:29
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 11:05:23 AM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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Unless you made it clear at the time that when he'd finished with it he was to give it away to someone else or give it back, then he has done nothing wrong and you have not been "hoodwinked".
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"What Manda said; well-stated and wise." deermousie, September 2010
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 1:28:20 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 13213
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No, you weren't hoodwinked. Once you signed over the title to the car, it was his do do with as he saw fit.
If a similar situation comes up and you have an expectation of what should/will occur, make that known up front.
Now, if you had the car and were planning to sell it and he gave you
some song-and-dance about how badly he needed it because he had no car but he couldn't afford to pay you for it but it would be the only way he could get his sick mother to dialysis and couldn't you find it in your heart to give it to him blah-blah-blah and then turned around and sold it to fix up his Jeep--yeah, that is hoodwinked.
But just because it would have been nicer of him to pass the car along to someone who needed it (for free) doesn't mean he hood-winked you.
He just disappointed you.
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 6:34:56 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1230
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We didn't put conditions on giving this relative a car nor was anything said to him about selling the car.
What I mean by being hoodwinked is that we were told that he needed a car when in fact all that was needed was a vehicle he could sell that was in good condition.
The fixer upper is a old landrover - it's not going to be used for transportation - this is for off roading. His wife/ family have a car; the wife doesn't work and their children go to school - also they live right by the community bus-line that goes right in their home.
Once I got a clearer picture of what was going on I felt hurt by the "action" this relative took to get the car we had.
So there was no "need" for this car... our plans were to give the car to someone who needed it and we were told this relative needed a car to drive.
I feel someone who was really in need of a vehicle missed out.
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 7:20:04 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
What I mean by being hoodwinked is that we were told that he needed a car when in fact all that was needed was a vehicle he could sell that was in good condition.............
So there was no "need" for this car... our plans were to give the car to someone who needed it and we were told this relative needed a car to drive.
Who was it that told you that this relative needed a car?
_____________________________
"What Manda said; well-stated and wise." deermousie, September 2010
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/11/2010 10:46:49 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1230
Joined: 11/28/2005
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manda-
A relative.
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/12/2010 7:17:52 PM
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manda59
Posts: 7388
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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Yup, I agree with deermousie.
If anyone, it was this relative who possibly "hoodwinked" you by giving you the wrong impression of this other family member's situation.
_____________________________
"What Manda said; well-stated and wise." deermousie, September 2010
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RE: hoodwinked? - 3/13/2010 12:08:21 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 1230
Joined: 11/28/2005
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Thanks everyone for your answers!
We are working on forgiving and forgetting this matter... we did not like seeing this type of behavior in a family member.
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